People don’t know what they want.

I can totally see how you might consider that title condescending towards the customer. Stick with me though before you just label me a jerk. I am not saying questioning intelligence. I just have just talked to a lot of families who approach the conversation about funerals with more knowledge of what they don’’t want than what they do want.

They know they don’t like what they have seen done in the past, generally speaking. They know that perhaps the religious heritage that spoke to their parents and grandparents just does not have the same role in their own lives. Their feelings about the presence of the body, the value of the “stuff,” and what they are seeking just do not line up with what they view as a “funeral.”

There are lots of things that come into play with this. The big three that we have to get right first are:

1. ​How did we get to this place?
   
2. What are we doing to educate in advance.
   
3. If the customer is clear about what they do not want, are we positioned to offer them something they do? Even if it’s something they don’t know about?

People don’t know what they want. That’s our fault. It’s also our responsibility to help them discover opportunities to grieve and heal through honoring and remembering.